


Are you here to finish me off, sweetheart?

by GeekMom13



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Death, Prison, Stockholm Syndrome, rewriting beginning 7/18/18
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-11 11:11:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 20,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11713203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekMom13/pseuds/GeekMom13
Summary: Antonin gets held by the order for the secret he keeps and Hermione is put in charge of him. They end up relying on each other more than anyone had expected.I own nothing you recognize





	1. The Order

**Author's Note:**

> [Visit me on Tumblr. I take requests, talk headcanons and generally geek out over everything.](https://geekmom13.tumblr.com/)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonin is the only thing standing between The Order and the Dark Lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newly revised chapter 1- finished 7/22/18  
> Sorry for all the coming updates of old chapters. I was reading this to finally finish it and realized... my writing has grown SO MUCH since I started this story! I hope you like the new version and stick around for the ending!

The Order had been in many battles after they destroyed the diadem at Hogwarts. 

Voldemort had fled once Nagini had been killed and locked himself in the heart of Rowle's little property. Rowle had always been a very paranoid man so when he purchased the building separate from his family's tower.

Then, he destroyed every record, made it unplottable and then added a fidelius charm for good measure. 

Unfortunately for one Antonin Dolohov, he was the secret keeper. 

His life was now the only thing standing between the Order of the Phoenix and Voldemort… and he was  _ very  _ aware of his misfortune at the moment. The Order had been in and out of his room daily. Every day he would ask "Are you here to finish me off?"

Usually, they laughed at him, handed him his food and responded with a question of their own: "Are you ready to tell us the location?"

He would shake his head and they would leave. Twice a week, they let him shower. Of course, always supervised. But, it was still better than Azkaban because it was warm and they gave him time (and soap) to actually get the daily grime off.

He stopped counting days by the fourth week. He decided instead to learn his captors. The same one never appeared twice in a day, that he already knew. 

They rarely sent in women, but when they did it was that Prewett witch or the Black witch that never looked the same. He knew there were other witches there, he could hear them. The laughter would be all that he could focus on some nights. They really liked sending in the werewolves, or rather the werewolf Lupin and the half pup Weasley. Of the group, they were some of the more imposing presences, but still, no one was going to make him reveal the location, Rowle was a great deal more unstable and intimidating than this lot.

Then one day, she walked in. When he looked up, he asked: "Are you here to finish me off, sweetheart?" She froze.  _ Ah, they didn't warn this one.  _

It was barely a pause in her behavior, but when you're used to the insanity in the ranks of the Death Eaters, you learn to watch for signs of impending attacks. She glared at him and turned around and walked out. It took him his entire dinner to realize that she didn't ask him, not at all. Three visits from her that day and  _ no question _ . And the next day the same thing happened. 

It kept happening all week. 

Soon the other voices started to fade from the house too. It seemed like fewer and fewer people were stopping by. The only time he saw anyone besides her was when it was time to shower. Within the month, the house was silent except for her footsteps - she never spoke anymore, there was no one to speak with it seemed. She would bring in his food three times a day- he would ask her  _ are you here to finish me off, sweetheart?  _ And she would ignore him and walk out.

Finally, one day when she came in with lunch, he said: "That brown is a good shade on you, you should wear it more often, kotenok."

She reacted with a raised eyebrow but still said nothing. When she came in for dinner, she had changed. This time he said, "I've been getting cold." 

She showed no sign of hearing him.

The next day with breakfast she brought in a blanket. He tried to get a reaction with "I would be warmer with someone to share the bed with, kotenok." 

Again, she showed no sign of hearing him.

He kept trying. It had been a full week and he would spend his time alone thinking of ways to get her to react. She usually didn't, but when she did it was subtle and hard to catch. 

He noticed that she did wear brown more often, though unfortunately, she never wore the jeans he complimented again. Granted, it's debatable if  _ It looks good but it would look better on the floor _ is actually a compliment coming from a man like him.

It had hit the point where he even tried to speak only Russian to see if he could catch anything on her face. It didn't work. So finally, about a month later, he gave up trying. 

When she walked in, he went back to "You here to finish me off, sweetheart?" and looked away, not even bothering to search for a reaction this time.

"No, I'm here with lunch,” her tone a little amused, and when he turned he could see the slight smile on her face. 

He stared at her as she slowly dipped her bread into a bowl on her tray. She never stayed to eat before. Today was full of new things.  _ But she still didn't ask.  _ The next few days were the same thing, a few words more each day. But she would never ask him.

It got to the point where they would have full conversations and debate magical theory.

After a while of this, he broke down and almost yelled "Why don't you ask me where he is?"

She tilted her head, considering the best answer, "Because I don't think you'll tell me and I get angry when I don't get my way.”

"I would though, only for you,” he shrugged.

"Why?"

He took a bite of his bread before answering, quietly, "Short answer: It's you."

She didn’t say anything for the rest of lunch, just thinking it over.  As she was gathering the bowls to leave, she broke the silence, "and... the long answer?"

He took a deep breath, "When you first walked in, I knew you were the girl I hit with that curse. You survived something no one else ever has. You should be dead. But you aren't. It's respect on my part.”

She looked a little wary at his smile from that.

He continued, “You must understand. I made that spell to kill someone quickly without the pesky use of an unforgivable.”

She snorted and looked at the wall.

“There is no way that you ever should have lived. You should never have been able to attack me in the muggle shop. But you did. I was defeated by a teenager. Fair is fair."

"Okay," and then she walked out.  _ She still didn't ask. _

At dinner, he asked for parchment and a quill. When she brought it in, he wrote down the address. She walked out of the room, without ever asking, just a small smile and nod. 

The next time he saw her, she was covered in dirt and blood, leading a team of Aurors to his room. The time after that was at his trial. Between those days, he found out that the order had spent his captivity talking wizards and witches into joining and then training for a final attack. As soon as he wrote the address, they struck. He was one of four living Death Eaters now.

When she took the stand, she was brusque in every answer. The final question she was asked was if she felt that the kiss should be given. He never expected the response she gave.

She turned her gaze from the small group of Wizengamot to the man questioning her, and clearly stated, "No."

"And why not?" he asked, looking upset at her answer.

"I didn't have to ask for the address," she glanced to Antonin and then back to the Wizengamot, barely letting a smile show on her face. 


	2. The sentence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonin gets to see his home for the next two years.

Seven years. Somehow in wise eyes of the remaining eighteen members of the wizengamot, two years in a muggle jail, one year of complete restriction with what amounted to a child's toy wand, two years of what they called relaxed restriction with strict monitoring, and finally two years of strict monitoring without restrictions made up for everything he did wrong.

During his trial, he had discovered a great many things. 

First, when the ministry was "taken back", some pyromaniac  _ probably Rowle,  _ had destroyed the records room with fiendfyre. So now, they had to go forward from six months ago because  _ blind hatred is what got us into this mess in the first place. _ They would only hold trials for things they had irrefutable proof for, which was the past five months of monitoring with some stray documents that workers hadn't yet filed when the fire was lit.

Second, he learned that he had been in captivity for eight months.  _ This explained his sentence. _ With no proof of his previous misdeeds, he could only be charged with what he admitted to while sitting in that dark gloomy room in what he discovered was Sirius Black's family home. He also learned that she had been his only company for four and a half months of his stay.

Third, he learned that she held a great deal of respect within those eighteen wizengamot members. In fact, he'd place money on the fact that half of them were afraid of the little witch, and the other half probably owed some form of a life debt. Though the life debt bit was more a guess than an observation- he was given old prophet articles while waiting for trial. She had been one of the only three  _ teenagers  _ who stormed into Rowle Keep and leveled the forces of the Dark Lord. She was also the only one of those three who walked out of there. One of them had died and the other was still on the list of critical injuries as of - well, he wasn't exactly sure how old his latest newspaper was.

Fourth, he learned that his list of crimes was mainly centered around her. Apparently, he had felt the need to confess everything to her that he ever did to her. The largest charge, of course, being the attempted murder. And for some reason, she didn't go for equal retribution. 

She went for  _ mercy _ . 

She could have had him kissed, they said as much when they had her on the stand.  _ You are aware that by law that you may choose to have him kissed, do you feel the kiss should be given? _ And she said no. Strange, that. One day maybe he could ask her why.

He was brought out of his musings when three people entered the small room he had been brought to after the trial.

"Antonin Dolohov, you are now to be prepared for stay at HMP Pentonville. We will need to bind your magic temporarily, this process is fairly simple. This pendant will be put on, then disillusioned for the duration of your stay. No one will be able to remove it except for an approved Auror. Do you have any questions about this?"

He thought it over, "Yeah. What does it feel like?"

"We are told it will feel like water trickling down you and numbing part of you inside."

"And... and what happens with my magic?"

"The pendant is designed to carefully release any excess magic that would normally present as accidental magic when a wizard is denied access to his magic. There are also charms to encourage a healthy flow of magic to prevent the insanity that we saw often in Azkaban, as well as any accidents around muggles."

The woman next to the one explaining was rolling her eyes and muttering about wasting time on the criminals.

The woman speaking handed him the pendant to inspect. If he was right, it was a hematite stone that had been carefully formed into a perfect heptagon. There were runes engraved at each point. Some were too small to see, though he did make out Eihwaz, Algiz, and Nauthiz. He could feel the magical energy within the stone was powerful. 

Even just holding the stone had his magic interacting and reaching out, just like when he picked up his wand.

She looked proud of the piece and he figured she had played a part in designing it. He remembered those days- when he was creating things that were worthy of his pride. It had been too many years of curses and pain. 

"Do you have any further questions?"

He thought hard. He could delay this, but he was sure it was pointless, "No."

"When you are ready, please put on the necklace and we will secure and hide it and then transport you to the prison."

Antonin took one final glance at the pendant before he slipped it on and felt exactly what they described- a general numbness, he couldn't place what was numb though. It was as if he was numb yet feeling everything at the same time. 

Where his magic flowed through him was now a nothingness, a warm nothingness, but nothingness all the same. He couldn't help but think how different a stay in Azkaban would be with one of these pendants. 

After the woman had secured the necklace and disillusioned it, she left him in the care of the two Aurors who had yet to speak.

With a wave of a wand, they transfigured their Auror robes into standard muggle uniforms. After they transfigured Antonin's clothes into what he assumed was some muggle clothes, they walked him to the floo at the end of the hall. They traveled to a building next door to the prison.

As Antonin took in the site of his prison, he found himself thanking Merlin, Circe, Salazar and anyone else listening that he was here instead of Azkaban. He thanked them again for the strange witch who granted him mercy.

Where Azkaban was a tall structure without glass in the windows, constantly beat at by the waves of an unforgiving North Sea; HMP was grand sight full of windows and bars. The painful cold was not present inside the walls, and prisoners could interact without screaming their throats raw. 

So much of the design of his prison would ward off the insanity and desperation of those within, and yet, they still gave him a protection stone.

The check-in process was unnerving. First, they read him his charges- well, his muggle charges at least. Then they cut his hair and shaved his beard. His clothes were taken and he was walked through showers and checkpoints and endless lines of guards. He was given clothes to wear, rules to follow and finally, he was shown to his bed. 

He was on the third level, four cells in. It appeared he would be alone. There was not much in his cell, but still, it was more than Azkaban. A single bed, a metal toilet, a window a sink and a seat.

As he laid down to sleep, he thought to himself that compared to his time in Azkaban, he was sure these next two years would fly by before he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing you recognize. Yup. I woke up and Antonin was bugging me, he apparently has more to say _glares at the broody Russian man ___  
> Updated: 7/24/18


	3. Welcome to prison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonin gets a visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter updated 8/2/18

Antonin soon realized that the ability to talk to other prisoners wasn't actually a  _ good  _ thing. You see, his neighbor  _ never shut up _ . It was almost as bad as silence. 

It had been a week and he knew far too much about Richard Campstone. He was also 37, he was married (but upon entering the prison he was served divorce papers) and hadn't been able to see either daughter for the three years he had been in jail.

Antonin had tried very hard to  _ not _ learn things about his neighbor, but he repeated often enough that it was impossible to not retain the information.

By the fourth week, he realized why they bound a wizard’s magic before throwing them in a muggle prison. He was thinking up every single way he could magically shut Richard up. By the end of the fifth week, he had invented three new spells that would stop the chattering at all hours of the day.

After two months, he was told he had a visitor. His quiet neighbor Jacob helped him figure out exactly what that meant and what he had to do. When the guard came to collect them for visitation, Antonin stood how he was told and followed the line down to a room that had little tables throughout bolted to the floor. There were a couple of different sizes, each one had just enough room to fit the tray of food in front of each chair.

He found a spot at one of the smallest tables, just big enough for two people and then waited as they securely fastened him in place. He looked at what they had laid out, definitely better quality than what he was usually served, but he wasn't about to complain about getting fresh fruit.

The doors opened up and they started letting people in, one group at a time and escorting them to their table. He waited for someone familiar, wondering who even  _ knew _ he was here, and how many on that list would care. The only person who qualified was his case worker- and they seemed rather intent on ignoring him until he neared release. 

Then he saw her.  _ He saw her. _

_ She _ was visiting  _ him. _

"Hello, Dolohov.”

"Hello, kotenok,” he said with a smirk.

"Kitten? Really Dolohov?"

He shrugged, "It fits. House of the lion, fluffy hair and all. Why are you here?"

"Nice to see you too."

" _ Kotenok. _ "

She didn't look at him and just pushed the fruit on her plate with her fork, hoping he'd move on- she could hear from his tone of voice it wasn’t likely. 

If she was being honest she really didn't know  _ why _ she felt the need to see him. She woke up two weeks before with him on her mind. It took two weeks for her to accept that he wasn't going to get out of her head until she saw him.

"Fine. I guess I needed to see where they're keeping you."

"Wanted to see who's the better jailer?"

She snorted and tossed a grape in her mouth, "something like that."

"What do your order friends think about their little pet visiting the big bad death eater?"

She glared, "I'm not their pet."

"Okay, kotenok."

_ Visitation ends in fifteen minutes. _

She rolled her eyes and started to pick at the fruit again. He took the time to try and figure her out. He really had thoughts on why she would care enough to visit him. She honestly wasn't even on the list of people he thought of when he counted who knew he was here.

"So... who is better?"

He thought it over, "More showers here, but the food is shit. The blankets were nicer with you."

"Of course they were.  _ comprimere ac mollire calidus _ . useful little thing."

He raised an eyebrow at that. It was a spell usually passed from mother to daughter in purebred houses, "They don't teach  _ that _ in school."

"No,” she shrugged, “but you'd be amazed what you can learn from the Black library and Molly Weasley."

_ You have five more minutes. _

He watched he playing with the fruit more, "So are you going to  _ actually  _ tell me why you're here?"

"I'd have to figure that out myself first."

"Do your friends even know you're here kotenok?"

She exhaled and looked down, after a few moments, she finally said, "No. Didn't really see the point. Harry still isn't awake and he's the only one I'd tell.” She grew quieter, “Well, the only one who's still alive"

They both just sat and ate for the rest of the time.

_ Visitation is now over, guests please say goodbye and head towards the exit. _

They just nodded at each other and she walked away. He didn't want to ask if she would be back because he was sure she didn't even know. After all, she didn't know why she even showed up in the first place.

When they got back to their cells, the quiet neighbor got his attention and asked: "so, who was she?"

"The last person I ever expected to see here."

"Why?"

He thought of how to put it without exposing magic, "She's the reason I'm in here."

He didn't ask her anything else. They both waited silently for their time outside. It was nice to have silence to think in. He still had 22 months left. There was a good chance no one would visit him again until his caseworker was ready to “help him transition.”

A few weeks passed with the same routine. Breakfast,  _ skills work _ , lunch, outdoor time, dinner and sleep. He wished he could miss most of the skills they were teaching because he really  _ really _ didn't need to learn about paper mache flowers. He enjoyed the sessions on meditation, it helped to pass the time.

At three months and eight days,  _ Richard _ was finally released.

At three months and two weeks, they told him he had a visitor again. 

"Hello, kotenok."

"Hello, dedushka," she smirked.

"I'm not  _ that  _ old."

"And I'm not an itty bitty kitty."

He shrugged, "you're back."

"Yeah."

"You don't look the best kotenok." He wasn't lying, it wasn't the worst he had seen her, not by a long shot. But that was during the war, and this wasn’t. 

"Charmer.”

"You know what I mean. Your eyes,” he waved his hands towards her face, “no fire there."

She snorted.

"Why did you come back?"

She looked off to the side, picking up a muffin to poke at, "He woke up."

"Oh?"

"He doesn't remember."

" _ Oh, _ ” he grimaced, there were rumors about who would miss the little girl most when he hit her with the spell. Half the people were sure Molly was grooming her to be the next Weasley wife, but the other half thought she was Potter’s girl. Not that it had mattered much- her death would signal the end of the golden trio. 

"They say he probably never will. I... I have no one."

He looked her over, wondering what he hadn’t found out from the end of the war to leave her like this, "So you came here."

She shrugged, "you can't leave."

"I see. And... knowing that, it helps?"

She just played with the muffin she had torn to pieces. "I have no idea, but it was worth a shot"

_ Fifteen minutes left of visitation. _

He thought over her earlier statement, "What did you mean by no one?"

"Most of the Weasley family didn't survive the attack... the ones who are left... they aren't the ones I talked too much- they tried… but seeing me without Ginny and Ron… was too much. My parents, well... Nevermind.” she waved her hand in front of her and wiped at her eyes, “It's all ridiculous. I'm here complaining to the guy who tried to kill me five years ago about having no one left."

"Feeling alone isn't ridiculous, kotenok. We all lost people."

"Yeah. Too many."

They spent the rest of visitation in silence, absentmindedly eating the muffins. When the announcement said visitation was over, Hermione paused and looked down before she spoke softly.

"Do you mind?"

He looked at her puzzled, "Mind what?"

"Me, coming here. Using you."

"Fair is fair kotenok, fair is fair."

"So... you use me too?"

"I'd be dead without you. Listening to you seems only fair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing you recognize. Welcome to the third installment of what I thought was a simple one shot *still shooting a looking at the brooding Russian man*


	4. Hermione

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonin got mad at me for not letting him know how Hermione is doing... Blasted sulking Russian man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 8/2/18

Hermione left the prison after her second visit trying to sort everything out. She all but admitted to Dolohov that she was going to be coming back. It wasn't even a decision anymore. She knew that for some reason, seeing him  _ made sense _ even if nothing about the situation actually made sense to anyone. When Harry woke up yesterday and had no memories past when he was six, Dolohov was the first person she thought to run to.

She didn't know why. Nothing made sense since this all started.

It was probably true that she was using him, but he didn't seem to mind. She walked to the floo building near the prison and headed home to think about everything over a bottle of wine and some curry takeaway. Her favorite spicy food always helped her think through the problems in her life. She opened up the box and started to think about how her life got to be this way.

Kingsley had pulled her into the kitchen with a few of the other order members, looking upset as he said, "We need someone to break that prisoner in there. He won't respond to torture, we know that. He is the secret keeper for Voldemort's safe house."

She knew about the new prisoner, but people hadn’t told her who he was, "So what do you expect  _ me  _ to do Kings?"

He pursed his lips, "Be you. Bring him food. Keep him alive. Talk to him... if you want. Just be there. Every day, only you."

She thought it over, "If he's the secret keeper, wouldn't his death let us enter?" It wasn’t like the good guys were pulling punches, and he was a death eater- or at least on the death eater’s side. At the end of this, there was a really good chance he’d be executed anyway- it was what happened in the first war.

"Yes,  _ if  _ we knew where to go. Unfortunately, it could be anywhere in the world at this point. By the time we found the house, they would have noticed the broken fidelius and left,” Remus said, face grim and not willing to look at her.

"Oh." She knew exactly what this meant- they wanted him attached to her. They still hadn't told her who it was. No one would tell her.

To say she was shocked when she opened the door to Antonin bloody Dolohov would be accurate, if not a bit of an understatement. 

The shock soon gave way to anger though. 

When she left the room the first time, she ended up hexing Sirius, Bill, and Arthur who were sitting in the kitchen. They all tried to apologize as soon as she appeared, but it definitely wasn't going to help calm her down. Remus didn't fare much better when he walked in with a giant box of sugar quills as an apology.

She had spent the first week shooting stinging hexes at a majority of the order who knew the full story. 

Kingsley  _ still _ hadn't braved visiting- apparently, he knew full well that he just sent a twenty-year-old girl into face the man that tried to kill her four years before. 

He  _ also  _ knew exactly how creative she could be when angry. 

Her use of birds on Ron was a well-known story in the order. So was the fact that she read every book she could in the Black family library since then and had learned everything she could from everyone else in the order. Kingsley was not a stupid man, so he avoided the initial anger.

When he finally did show up, she had bats flying out of his nose before he got fully through the door. Ginny would have been proud of her. It took a full week for Kingsley to be able to be in the same room as Hermione without her tossing something his way.

They had an order meeting a few days after she forgave Kingsley, the plan was to move their base to his old family house. The Shacklebolt's apparently had a manor that was unplottable. The grounds were large enough to start training everyone for the battle when they finally found out where the house was. 

They selected Hermione to be the secret keeper, and she would stay at Grimmauld with Dolohov. People slowly helped each other move to the new headquarters that week.

It had been a while since everyone moved out and she was sitting in the kitchen with Charlie. Occasionally order members would stop in and see how she was. They were always sure to place silencing charms- there was no need to let him know anyone else was here except for his showers… He’d get attached to her quicker that way. As she heated up the food Molly left when she spilled on her shirt. Charlie tossed her his brown jumper to cover the stain while she headed to give him food.

When she came back down, she was obviously shaken up. Charlie asked what happened, she told him and he laughed and said: "Then we'll burn the shirt." And they did. 

Her life continued on like this. Bring breakfast, lunch, and dinner to Dolohov, run a few order missions here and there, sleep. She would occasionally tell people whatever weird thing he had said when they stopped by, but as time went on, fewer people stopped in. 

Soon, she was alone with Dolohov for all but fifteen minutes a week where Kingsley would stop in and update her- she was getting sent on fewer missions as they heard more of the  _ plans _ they had for her after capture.  

She started to eat with him then. After so many months of eating alone, she was tired of it.

This time when he asked, she said: "No, I'm here with lunch."

They slowly built up to debates and talked over theories of some of the spells she had created, One of his favorites was the one she sent at Kingsley that made everything he says come out as a haiku.

As she finished her curry, she snorted. They should have realized that as much as they wanted him to become attached to her, they ended up making her just as attached to him.

At least now she had an answer to his question. She knew why she needed to see him. For eight months, she was the only one he saw. For seven months, she was the only one living there with him. And for six months... He was really the only person she sat and talked to. No one else really had the time.

She thought about the times he would notice her hurt from a mission. He had actually taught her a few healing spells she didn't know. He had confessed everything that he had done for her. He never apologized, but she probably wouldn't have accepted it anyway.

Those were the moments Kingsley never considered. He never thought she would see Dolohov as human. He basically said so after the trial. The other three death eaters were either in jail for life or received the kiss.

_ "Hermione- why would you testify against the kiss? He should be waiting for the kiss right now with Carrow!" _

_ "Kings, you asked me a question and I answered. If you wanted revenge you shouldn't have picked me" _

_ "Apparently not. I thought you'd be able to keep a level head and not pity him! You disappointed me." _

That had been the last time she spoke with Kingsley until a week before Harry woke up.

Kingsley ended up apologizing and she understood, she really did. Those first few weeks were terrible for everyone. Bill and Percy had to bury the rest of the Weasleys, Hermione couldn't get her parents memories back, Neville had run off to America with Hannah... Everyone she was close with was gone and Kingsley was in the same situation.

As she sipped her wine she thought about Harry sitting in the Janus Thickey Ward, enjoying a childhood he never got. They decided to let him be six for now, and Hermione was in charge of everything of his since Ginny and Ron didn't make it. For her, the decision had been easy. 

The Potter vaults could easily support him until he was able to return to the public. Hell, they could support him until his great-great-great-great-grandchildren died.

She finished up, sent the dishes to the kitchen and laid down. The last thing she thought of was just how alone she really was. She didn't realize it until Dolohov asked her today why she came back. 

She had said she had no one and as she drifted off, she realized that hadn't been a lie.


	5. Her crutch

The next day, Hermione woke up with a killer hangover and three owls on her coffee table. The first was an owl with the official St Mungo's pendant on its ankle, they were forms from Janus Thickery for Harry's care, she took the papers and set them off to the side and the owl flew off.  _I'll get to that when I am not hungover._ The second was from Kingsley, probably also about Harry, she took the letter but Jif stayed in place.  _He must want a reply_. The third owl she didn't recognize, but it had a shrunken satchel so it must have a lot of paperwork. There was a monogram pendant on its ankle of MLS.

She gave the two waiting owls treats and grabbed a hangover potion.

_Hey Mione,_

_I know it was a rough day for you with Harry, let me know when I can come over. Jif is staying until you reply because I know you'll try and stubbornly get through this on your own. I have to remind you, she much prefers my place and will start to nip at you within the hour. So I suggest you pick a time and let me come over._

_Kings_

Hermione quickly scribbled a response ( _now works_ ) and sent it back, she was  _well aware_ that his horrible owl bit hard. Then she headed to her floo and changed the warding to let him in.

She was working on getting through the paperwork from St Mungo's when Kings arrived.

"Mione? Where are you?"

"Kitchen."

"Hey, little dove, what do you have there?"

"Harry's care plan. I have to agree on it all since he set me as his next of kin and all that."

"Ah. So tell me how to help."

"Get the papers from that owl and tell me what bit of fun I am dealing with there."

The owl was incredibly displeased by someone other than Hermione trying to get the package. Kings ended up bleeding after the ordeal. He enlarged the satchel and discovered it had close to fifty folders inside it, the first few were labeled Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Dean Thomas... He flipped a few more and saw one folder labeled "Identified threats" towards the back. Hermione was sitting there scanning and initialing forms so he waited for her to pause.

"Okay, done. That took less time than I thought."

"The owl was from the Magical Legal Services, you were probably listed in the notification section of most of these people's wills. I know they had trouble sorting through who was alive and who wasn't. Their entire office was a hazard, no organization at all. I just got my stack two days ago. "

"Oh,  _yay_. This will be fun."

"How do you want to do this then?"

"Honestly, I don't even know where to begin. I want to say at a bar with something strong to drink, but I don't think the minister should be seen day drinking."

"How about we start with tea and the thinner folders. Those are probably standard notifications. We'll work our way up to firewhiskey for the Weasleys."

"Thanks, Kings. In case I forget to tell you later. And probably sorry for anything I say when I get drunk."

"If I was going to walk away, I would have done it when you made me sound like an elephant every time I opened my mouth"

"Yeah, you were only supposed to trumpet when you laughed. I still can't get that spell right. I think I need to change the wand movements."

"Why in the world would you want to do that?"

She shrugged "Because you didn't laugh much at Grimmauld. So you wouldn't know you were hexed until you got home and wouldn't have the counter curse. And at that point, I would have already warded Grimmauld and you wouldn't be able to get in until I wanted you to."

"You really are too smart sometimes little dove."

It took them about an hour to get through all the form letters from the Order deaths... The ending to the final battle at Rowle Keep had been a horrible ordeal. Shortly after they had killed Voldemort, they gathered all the remaining Death Eaters. They were slowly moving them one at a time to the ministry. They were trying to be smart and avoid any escapes. Hermione was part of the receiving team. She was logging wands and checking injuries when King's lynx had burst through the wall.

It turns out Mulciber had tackled his captor and stole his wand. His final act was to shoot a  **bombarda maxima**  at the roof of the room they were in. He had, with one spell, killed almost everyone that was currently guarding prisoners. Only one Death Eater survived the collapse, and Harry and Neville were hit with debris from while guarding the exterior. Harry had been hit in the head with a stone from the building and cuts all over from the glass, Neville had lost his leg.

* * *

Antonin sat in his cell after she left trying to sort through the end of their visit this time. Did she mean that she would be visiting more and using him as a crutch? And he spent hours pondering  _why_  he was her crutch. He was trying to sort through the information he had...

He finally decided to talk to his quiet neighbor. "Hey, Jacob you up?"

"Yeah, what you need Tony"

"She's messing with my head."

"Don't they always? What did she do?"

"I think she's planning to keep visiting."

"Ah."

"She asked me if I minded her coming here and using me."

"Do you?"

"I don't think I do mind. But I don't think she should."

"Why?"

"Like I said, she's the reason I'm here. She almost died. It was my fault."

"And she visits?"

"Yeah."

"She probably needs it, Tony. Closure and all"

"Yeah, maybe."

He started to fall asleep wondering how long she would be using him as a crutch to heal. He wasn't sure if he wanted it to be a long time or a short time.


	6. The goodbyes

Kings decided to open the Identified Threats when the first bottle of wine was opened. It seemed like good timing. The file had a list of names that had sent her "unsafe" letters. Likely jinxed, and most of the names were death eaters. It wasn't a surprise to either of them, Kings was impressed that her list managed a few more names than his own... Apparently, the most well know muggleborn earned more anger than the future minister of magic. Most of the order members that were close to Hermione had left her a little note. Seamus had drawn a picture of the golden trio to give to her.

By the time they hit Ron and Ginny, Kings broke out the Ogden's Finest. They had left her a few items and a letter each. Ron had given her a necklace that had been in the family for a while. In his letter, he explained that there weren't enough rings for all six boys so he had selected this, but that if he managed to make it through the war he'd give it to her anyway. Ginny had left her a beautiful bracelet and told her to pass it on to her kids because she was the sister Ginny always wanted, and if the bracelet couldn't be for her kids, she felt it should go to Hermione.

When it was all done, Kings used a spell he had discovered and bound all the notes together. Hermione was curled up in her favorite blanket crying. It wasn't the first time she mourned her loss, and it wouldn't be the last. As he was cleaning up the table, he noticed a visitor's badge from the jail.

"What's this?"

Hermione looked up and her eyes went wide.  _She was not sober enough to lie, but not drunk enough to want to tell the truth._  "Nothing Kings."

"That face doesn't convince me. Who do you know in jail?"

"Kings, please."

"No.  _No_. Hermione. Please tell me it's not-"

"Kings, I can't. Not right now."

"So it is."

She started to cry harder than she had before. She could barely breathe at this point.

"Hermione, relax." No reaction.

"Mione?" Still nothing.

He dropped to his knees in front of her "Little Dove, please listen"

She looked up and croaked out "I'm sorry"

He gathered her in his arms and rocked a little until she calmed down. "Oh, little dove. There's no need to be sorry. I just want you happy and safe."

"I know it doesn't make sense."

"How many times?"

"I've gone there twice. Kings, I don't know why. I just needed to see him."

"Mione, you're the daughter I never got to have, you know I only want the best for you. Are you... Did you two... Well... I'm trying to... I mean... You were alone for so long... Was it... Was it  _physical_?"

"KINGS!"

"It's okay if it is, little dove. "

"No. It's not that. It's just... It's hard to explain. I've been trying to figure it out myself, and all I can come up with is he was there every day. I got used to him."

"Okay, so I don't need to worry about you trying to free Rowle or Malfoy or save Bellatrix?"

She snorted "Godrics no."

"Do you think you'll visit again?"

"I think I will. I can't explain it but when I'm by him, I don't feel like I'm  _Hermione Granger, the war hero_. I'm not part of the  _destroyed generation_. I'm not a war orphan. I'm just kotenok, the witch who creates spells that makes dedushka laugh."

"You know he's younger than me... What does that make me?"

"That makes you my Kings."

"I think I can deal with that"

* * *

Antonin decided during his skills work that morning that he would help her gain closure. They were working on meditation again and he had asked the volunteer if she had any advice for the situation. Everyone thought he was in for a drug conviction, so when he talked about almost causing her death they assumed she overdosed doing drugs with him.  _As if she would do something that stupid._

The volunteer had told him that he needed to confess everything and ask forgiveness to find his inner peace.  _He really hated this part of the program_. They had set him up with the drug counselors, and he was forced to  _talk through the recovery_. It was hard enough talking to his neighbor, and they only talked about Hermione- a subject he actually liked to talk about. The counselors wanted to talk about him and his childhood.

He wasn't even sure if she would even show up, but he went through the words in his head. By Friday, he had discarded approximately 13 speeches. But his fourteenth speech he had every confidence would work.  _If she showed up_. Saturday morning came and went and she didn't show up. He could feel his pendant growing cold on his skin. He wasn't surprised, his magic always reacted strongly to his emotions, even if he wasn't one to show them to the world. It took until Wednesday for him to not feel the cold against him like a bitter winter wind. Thursday and Friday he had barely felt the pendant, but Saturday morning came and the painful cold picked back up as he remembered how the last Saturday hurt.

This time, she showed up.

"Dedushka."

"Kotenok. I didn't think I'd see you again."

"I wasn't sure you'd see me either. It was a long couple of weeks."

"Ah. I'll let you tell me about it after I say something"

"Okay."

"Our past... it's bad."

She snorted.

"I wouldn't be alive if anything about us changed though. So I can't say I'm sorry."

"I didn't ask you to."

"I know. But they tell me I'm supposed to  _make amends_."

She snorted again.  _They're having him do the 12 steps._ "Don't think anything of it. We're good."

"Good. Now on to your two weeks."

"Well, it started with my MLS notifications."

"Oh. That was quick. Last war it took almost a year to get things figured out. How are you holding up?"

"Well, all your friends sent me nice little cursed letters... Wonderful company you kept"

"There's one from me too. We all had them for the undesirables."

"Oh. What present did you plan to send?"

"Smert' tysyach lezviy I believe. Death of a thousand blades"

"Charming."

He just tilted his head and smirked. He wasn't going to apologize for  _that_  either.


	7. Bloody women

She continued to show up to talk with him week after week, rarely missing a visit. It had been eight months since he was put in this prison and four months since she started coming by. They still had some awkward moments but for the most part, they were in an easy rhythm with conversations.

"Kotenok. How have you been?"

"Amazing now! Remember last week when I had something special for this week?"

"Of course I do"

"Well, here"

She held out a copy of the prophet. She had obviously charmed it to stop the moving pictures since they were in the muggle world. He saw right away what the surprise was:

 __ **Mass Murderer Bellatrix LeStrange has been kissed**  
This Wednesday, the only Death Eater to be sentenced to death was executed. She was one of only four remaining marked Death Eaters, leaving behind Thorfinn Rowle (life in Azkaban for multiple murder charges), Draco Malfoy (five years in Azkaban, then ten years probation for attempted murder and bearing the mark) and Antonin Dolohov (currently in muggle prison for attempted murder of War Hero Hermione Granger).  
In attendance were the remaining members of Wizengamot, Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt and Spokesperson of the Destroyed Generation Hermione Granger (one of Bellatrix's torture victims as we discovered in her trial). When asked if they had comments, Minister Shacklebolt and Miss Granger simply stated: "Justice isn't always easy to witness, but if you pass on a death sentence it is important to see that it is humane." We personally think humane was better than she deserved for how she treated her victims.  
The Prophet has decided to refrain from printing her final words as they would need to be heavily edited in order to be acceptable for print.

"She's really gone?"

"Yes. Buried on the island of Azkaban like all the other convicts were"

"It says here you were tortured by her."

She rubbed her left arm with her right hand and then her neck "Yeah. It was a blast."

"When did that happen"

"About two years after you tried to kill me, and about half a year before you were in our custody"

_Visitation ends in fifteen minutes._

"So you're probably almost as glad as I am huh?"

"Yup."

"So I think you said you had two surprises."

"I did say that didn't I?"

"Yes, you did kotenok."

"hmm. I think you'll just have to wait."

"How is everyone else doing?"

"Harry is progressing nicely. I'm still not a fan of being  _Auntie Hermione_  but at least he's not having melt downs about not being allowed to cook and clean anymore. It was a nightmare trying to keep that bit out of the press- I can imagine that headline  **The boy who lived... like a house elf** "

"Kotenok, you could have been a journalist with headlines like that."

"No thanks! Godrics that sounds awful." She was grateful he had distracted her. The way Harry grew up always got her angry and she didn't need him to see that.

"So, how about everyone besides the adult toddler?"

"Dolohov, be nice. Kings is working on fixing the issues from when the Order took over the ministry. He doesn't want it loaded with order people because that is as easy to corrupt as a death eater ministry."

"He's going to be a good minister if he thinks that way."

She smiled. He  _really_  liked that he made her smile. "I think so too."

"Has he sorted Wizengamot yet?"

"No, that's still a royal mess. Apparently, there are still laws stating only Purebloods of  _proper nobility_ are allowed seats. But they fail to mention anywhere what that means, so he can't repeal the law until he discovers that."

"Check other countries. It might be wording from their sanctions. Also, check seemingly unrelated addendums to the founding articles. They like to hide things like that in strange places to make sure only those they want in power stay in power."

"You seem to know a lot about this."

_Visitation ends in five minutes._

"I'm very good at finding ways to legally do things that by all rights are illegal. Hence the creation I used on you."

"Makes sense. Maybe when you're out of here you can help Kings out."

"I doubt they will let me anywhere near the ministry kotenok."

"I'm sure you can find a way if you wanted to, but I wasn't meaning for work."

"Are you suggesting I influence the minister behind the scenes? And all this time I thought you were a Gryffindor. Might have to switch your name to zmeya"

Hermione wrinkled her nose "No thanks. I'll stick with kitten."

"You never did tell me how you know Russian."

"You never did ask."

He raised his eyebrow. She did the same.

"Fine. How do you know Russian?"

"The first time you spoke to me in Russian I started to research."

"So, you've been speaking Russian less than a year."

"The first time I spoke it to anyone was when I called you grandpa."

He snorted, of course the bookworm learned easy

"So how is your life?"

"Brilliant, vacation was lovely."

"Sarcastic as ever. you know what I mean Dolohov."

"Good. Jacob has been helping me after the skills lessons with the muggle things I don't understand. He's opening up a bit more too. I think he's closer to your age than mine."

"How does he figure a 37-year-old doesn't know about basic things in the world?"

"He thinks I was in a cult. What  _that_  is I don't know. But it seemed to make him stop questioning. So I went with it."

She was giggling. "Well, you kind of  _were_  in a cult. It's a group of people overly obsessed with a single person or thing."

_Visitation is now over, guests please say goodbye and make your way to the exit._

He gave her a nod goodbye as always, but this time she reached her hand out towards his and gently squeezed it before letting go. It was the first time she touched him. He was sure that it was the first time he blushed since he was a teenager.

* * *

When they got back he started to think out loud and Jacob spoke up. "Tony, what's on your mind? You normally don't mumble that much"

"She touched me."

"And? I thought you were friends."

"That's... It's hard to explain."

"So you've said, but you've never explained beyond  _she's the reason I'm_   _here_ , and a couple other weird statements, so I will need more details."

Antonin sighed. "When she was 15 I almost killed her. She was stuck in bed for weeks downing medications throughout the day."  _That_ was a word he learned when Jacob had laughed at the word potions. It was the conversation that had led to the cult understanding.

"That is a little worse than I imagined. I thought it was a simple OD"

"A  _what_?"

"Overdose. You're her dealer I thought."

"Oh, yeah. No. this was... worse. So... I wouldn't call us  _friends_  because that seems weird. We're just helping each other through some tough times I think."

"So, back to the mumbling... she  _touched_ you?"

"Yeah, she grabbed my hand and squeezed."

"You aren't used to affection are you?"

"No. Not at all. Bloody women."


	8. The Blind idiot

That Wednesday, he found out her second surprise.

 _She_  was in his skills class.

Jacob leaned over "That's her, isn't it? I never saw her face before. But that hair is a bit... easy to spot."

"Yeah. That's her."

"Wow. I suddenly understand the issue with her grabbing your hand Saturday."

"Don't."

"I'm just saying."

"Don't say it."

"Fine, fine."

"Hi all, my name is Hermione Granger. Today we are working on Yoga. Please find a mat and prepare yourself for meditation!"

"She's perky. I bet-"

"Shut. Up. Jacob."

"Have any of you done yoga? They said it hasn't been in a skills rotation in almost a year."

A few hands went up and she let out a smile. She switched a few people so that the ones with experience were spread out.

"Okay, so if you get confused, try looking at one of your peers who have done this, if not you can ask my assistance!"

A random stranger next to Antonin said "I have something she can help me with" and his neighbor chuckled.

"Tony, calm down you look ready to murder."

"That would be because I am. Why is she putting herself in this room? With all these  _criminals_?"

"You realize you're one of the criminals, right?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't hurt her."

"You literally  _just_  told me this week that you almost killed her."

"That was different."

Jacob laughed and shook his head.

"Okay, so since we have so many beginners, I am going to go over the basics! When I say we're going to breathe I want you to slowly breathe in for five seconds, hold for five seconds, then exhale for five seconds. Let's try that a few times."

Everyone started to follow her lead and she was smiling again.

"Now the first pose I want you to try is the warrior pose!" She showed the pose, it was fairly easy to copy. "Okay, now breathe."

She moved to the next pose, one she called the child's pose. This one was slightly harder to breathe while holding, curling into a ball was  _not_  conducive to deep breaths. After that, she moved to a cobra pose, and made a small smirk at Antonin and said: "Some of you may find your inner snake a little easier than others." He laughed a little before catching himself.

"Care to share with the class, Tony?"

"It's nothing, Jacob."

"uh huh. You'll be explaining later."

"Okay, this next one is called down dog and is a little harder! You really need to keep your back straight or it will hurt."

Antonin looked up and groaned. That was definitely  _not_  a pose she should do in front of a bunch of men. He could feel the pendant channeling and drawing cold air against his chest rapidly.

"Did you need help, Antonin?"

"Sure do kotenok"  _anything to get you out of that position_. She came over and guided him to the right pose, gently touching his back and offering a few tips. She startled at first when she approached, the pendant reacted to her because she was the nearest magical outlet. The entire time Jacob was observing and trying his hardest to not laugh.

She leads them through a few more poses, occasionally needing to help one of the inmates. At the end, she informed them that she would be seeing them three times a week for the next few months. She walked up to him with a huge smile "So, were you surprised?"

"Yes, I was kotenok."

"I signed up last month. I've been waiting to be approved!"

"Why?"

"Tony. Don't be rude. Didn't they teach you any manners in that cult?"

She snorted "No, they definitely did not. He's rather rude most of the time I'm afraid."

"I've noticed. I'm Jacob."

"Hermione"

"I know. He never shuts up about you. I can see why now."

"Really now Dolohov?"

Antonin just glared at Jacob.

"Why?"

"Patience dedushka."

"I am not that old kotenok."

"And I'm not a fluffy little kitten."

"Why kotenok?"

She rolled her eyes.

"As fun as this is to watch, we have to get going. Nice to meet you, sweetheart." Jacob grabbed Antonin and walked over to the other inmates.

* * *

"Tony, you're an idiot"

"I  _really_  don't want to hear this Jacob."

"She's planning to see you four times a week and you try and stop her?"

"She shouldn't be here at all."

"So you keep saying. But she doesn't strike me as the kind of girl who does what she's supposed to."

Antonin snorted "obviously"

"So, enjoy it."

"It's not  _my_  enjoyment I am worried about Jacob."

* * *

The next couple of months proceeded the same way. He'd see her four times a week, tell her she shouldn't be there on Saturdays, she'd laugh and point out she was a big girl, then they'd talk about whatever they thought of. Hermione had asked his advice on some charms she was developing. She was hoping to get a dual mastery in Charms and Transfiguration since both Professors would be leaving Hogwarts soon and she would like to be able to take one of the two spots. After taking her yoga classes, he could see that it would be an excellent career for the young witch. He had stopped asking her  _why_  because she would never answer, usually she would just deflect the question or simply ignore it.

Before either realized it, he had hit his halfway point in his actual jailing. He knew there was still a long road ahead of him before he was a fully functioning wizard again, but it was progress. He couldn't wait to get the pendant off. He really hated the cold air rushing against his skin and how it reacted to her presence when it was drawing the magic away. When she was near, he could feel the pendant balancing his magic using hers- a mix of the Russian winters and the English summers. The swirling temperatures were maddening.

At the end of the visit, he shared this news with her.

"Kotenok, only one more year and you won't have to visit me anymore"

Her face fell.

"I thought you'd be happy"

"I am. I mean. I'm glad for you. I guess I will see you Monday."

She left without squeezing his hand this time.

* * *

"I don't know what I did Jacob."

"You're an idiot Tony."

"You keep telling me that"

"Because you keep giving me reasons to!"

"I thought she'd be happy"

Jacob snorted "I heard what you said."

"I told her she wouldn't have to visit anymore."

"Yeah, and if you don't see the problem you're an idiot"

"Then explain it to the idiot."

"You basically made it sound like once you're out of here, she won't see you again."

"I didn't think she  _would_  see me again. I thought she'd be running the other way."

"Okay I take it back you're not  _just_ an idiot. You're a  _blind_  idiot."

"Again with the insults?"

"She likes you. God knows why, but she likes you."

"No."

"Seriously. She does."

"She calls me dedushka - Grandpa"

"Because it annoys you, Tony. The same reason you call her a fluffy little kitten. And now she thinks you just wrote her off."

"I'm an idiot."

"Yeah."


	9. Her Parents

Kings came home after work to a partially drunk but completely asleep Hermione on his couch. She had very obviously been crying.

"Little Dove?"

"No."

"Okay. You'll have to tell me eventually. You don't normally show up, destroy my warding, completely redo it, finish my wine and crash on my couch so I'm going to be a little curious."

"Your warding was shit Kings."

"The Auror Department and Unspeakables both helped."

"I'm aware. It was still shit."

"Maybe you can teach these wards to them?"

"No. The more people that know the less safe you are. This way they'd have to torture one of us to get in. And if they have  _you_  they won't need to get in. And if they get me, it can't be worse than Bellatrix. So... This is the safest you'll be. No one will get in unless one of us lets them in. And each access is single time. You'll need me for extended access."

"I am glad you're on my side. Now spill little dove."

"He said I wouldn't be visiting him when he's out of prison."

"You're going to have to give me more Mione."

"I just. I thought. Ugh, it's stupid. I thought  _I_  might be important to  _him_  too."

Kingsley sighed. He really did see her as a daughter and seeing her like this hurt. She was a 20-year-old war vet who lost everyone... and now she was breaking down over a 37-year-old who tried to kill her five years ago. This was definitely a mystery to him, how do you deal with this? He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"I know what you're thinking Kings- I'm an idiot. Why did I let myself get attached? How could I depend on  _him_  for healing?"

"You are many things Hermione Granger, an idiot is  _not_  one of them. I honestly think you're better off without him, but you spend more time near him so I have trusted you. If he helps you cope, then take all the peace you can. I'm sure you will figure it out"

"Ugh. I'm falling to pieces over a  _guy_. My mother would be disappointed."

"No little dove. A  _guy_  was just your last straw. It's been a long couple of years."

"Thanks, Kings. I'm sorry for just showing up." She looked up at him and gave a small smile.

"You know you're welcome anytime, plus apparently my wards desperately needed updating."

* * *

On Monday she showed up for the lesson but it was obvious she wasn't as into it, and Antonin swore he could see a shimmer of a glamour charm on her face. He tried to talk to her after but she made an excuse and rushed out. The same thing happened on Wednesday, but this time he  _knew_  there was a glamour. Jacob tried to catch her before she left, but since it wasn't about yoga she ducked out.

By Friday, Antonin was miserable... well, more miserable than he was before.

This time she let him talk after class.

"Kotenok. Jacob pointed out I hurt you." At her raised eyebrow, he continued "Well, I knew you were upset but didn't know  _why_  what I said upset you."

Jacob was off to the side waiting to have to jump in because he seemed to be messing up, again.

"I mean. eto pizdets."

Jacob jumped in at that point "What he  _means_  to say is he's sorry."

Hermione snorted.

"You're right, the prat doesn't apologize." He shot Antonin a look "He didn't mean he wouldn't ever see you again after this"

"You didn't?"

"No."

"He's an idiot."

Hermione snorted again. "no shit"

Antonin glared.

"That doesn't intimidate me Dolohov."

"We need to head back to our cells, he'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Maybe, if he stops being a sulky prat."

"So, that's a no."

Antonin glared at Jacob.

"Doesn't work on me either Tony. Now smile at the pretty lady and let's head back."

Hermione blushed and  _that_  got a smile out of Antonin.

* * *

The next day, she did show up for visitation.

"Hello Kotenok"

"Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

He smirked. "Probably not"

"I really hate you some times old man."

"I know."

It was like they were back to the first few meetings. Both were focused more on the food than anything else.

"This is ridiculous."

"I know."

"I mean, it's been how long? And now we're acting like idiots over one thing?"

He looked at her and considered what to say. "Well, I don't want to upset you again." When he looked back down, she reached over and grabbed his hand again. He continued on "I still don't know why it upset you. Jacob just kept calling me a blind idiot."

She laughed at that. "Well, he's not wrong."

"If you just going to make fun of me-"

"Relax. It's hard to explain. I tried to with Kings."

"It's still unnerving that you have a  _nickname_  for the minister... and that he knows you visit me and doesn't mind"

"Well, that's not entirely true."

"You said he knows"

"That would be the true part. It's the not minding part. He does mind."

"Oh, are you two..."

"Ew. No."

"Okay. So?"

_Visitation ends in fifteen minutes._

"He doesn't understand why. I mean, I don't either. But he... I think he doesn't want to push me away." She had let go of his hand and started rubbing her upper arms. "We both lost so many. You cling to family"

"I didn't know he was family"

"Might as well be. I don't have any other family left." He knew that they weren't dead, he had read the testimony Malfoy gave- when they went to the house no one was there. He assumed she got them out safely.

"Are you ever going to explain  _that_  to me?"

"Yeah."

"Today?"

"I... It's just... I mean..." She was debating it in her head. Using him as an emotional safety net was one thing, but this  _felt_  different. It wasn't like she hid anything else. He knew everyone who died. But for some reason, her parents were something she didn't talk about. "yeah, sure"

She picked at her food a bit before taking a deep breath. "So, after the ministry incident, I was named undesirable #2. And I knew that I had a huge weakness- my parents. I didn't have any other family left, just them" She was hugging herself as she admitted that part. "So, I knew I had to hide them. I tried to convince them to leave. But... they... they wouldn't leave without me."

Antonin nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"I spent a whole week trying to convince them. We had to leave to find and destroy the horcuxes, so I did something stupid"

He wanted to wipe away the tears she seemed to be ignoring, but he didn't want to upset her more.

"I erased their memories of me. I hid myself from all the photos... I, I sent them to Australia. When I went to get them... They weren't alone."

"Who was there kotenok?"

"They had a little two-year-old. He had my hair. They called him Mercutio. Merk for short."

"And so you left them?"

"Yeah. So now it's just me and Kings and the adult child Harry."

_Visitation is over, guests please exit._

This time she hugged him. She looked at his chest with curiosity, she could feel the pendant's magic but obviously couldn't see it.

He just looked puzzled. Maybe Jacob was right after all.


	10. Jacob's foot in mouth problem

When she got home, she sent an owl off to Kingsley, inviting him over.

"Little Dove. This is becoming a habit"

"Yes it is, we should just clear our Saturday afternoons for each other."

"As much as I think you're joking, it's a good idea. We don't see each other enough."

"I know Kings. I think it might be a fun idea. Tea?"

"Please. I'm glad this is better than last weekend already"

She blushed and looked at her teacup. It wasn't exactly a proud moment of hers "Tell me how you are doing."

"Well, your wards have pissed off basically everyone."

Hermione smiled.

"You see, they don't like me  _trusting random warding from an unknown source._  I told them if they could get through they're welcome to fix it."

"Did they?"

He laughed. "Not yet. A couple of them gave up after an hour. Some of the others were at four hours and no luck."

"Don't they realize that it would only take you five minutes to disappear completely?"

"Apparently not. Now your turn. Why did you message me?"

"Well, I hugged Dolohov and felt something weird."

Kings blinked a few times, trying to figure out exactly how to approach this awkward topic. Did her parents never-

"It was this strange cold and warm breeze. It was like someone took summer and winter and put them into a ball."

"OH! Oh. Okay. Was it here?" Kings asked, pointing to his sternum,  _very_  happy it wasn't a discussion about anything farther south when she nodded.

"That would be the pendant we created to help him for accidentally blowing out the wall of the prison."

"Wait, the Clerkenwell explosion- that was a wizard?"

"Oh yes. It's why we rarely allow wizards to stay in muggle jail. But the unspeakables had been working to develop an efficient suppressor to improve the muggle relations. They're not too fond of us constantly removing prisoners."

"Can I see any of the theory behind it?"

"Of course. I'll get you a copy."

"You are amazing Kings."

"So you hugged him?"

"Shut up Kings."

* * *

Jacob was sitting in his cell listening to Tony speak to himself in Russian. His boyfriend hadn't come to visitation today so he didn't get to see how Tony's visit went. The look on his face when he got back, combined with the rambling wasn't helping him figure anything out. With Tony, there was a 50/50 chance that this could have ended really, really badly. The man shouldn't have any problems with ladies but he had a tendency to shove his foot firmly in his mouth.

"Tony. Either speak so I can understand and help or shut it."

There were a few more words in Russian "She hugged me."

Tony laughed. "So it went well?"

"She talked about her parents and cried and hugged me."

"Two out of three ain't bad mate"

"I think you were right."

"I usually am. What about specifically?"

"Hermione."

"Okay. Give me a little more. We talk about her a LOT."

"I think she likes me."

"I thought we went over this last week."

"I thought you meant she tolerates me."

Jacob was starting to realize that the saying he always heard about the smartest people not having common sense  _definitely_  applied to Tony. "For fucks sake Tony."

"What? Do I really need to go over this again? Almost killed her. Half my age. I'm in prison."

"You left out some major details. Beautiful, smart... and obviously interested in you."

He heard the Russian starting again and just laid back down. It was like Tony never had a girl into him, which Jacob really didn't believe.

* * *

That Monday, Jacob had made it his mission to annoy Tony by constantly getting Hermione's attention. Every time they switched poses he asked questions, He would randomly makes noises, he commented on the names of positions.

Like always, when she switched to the cobra pose, she smiled at Antonin.

"Are you ever going to tell me about that little inside joke?"

"Probably not."

" _Pleeeeeeeeease_  Tony? If you don't I'll just ask her."

Antonin glared.

"So that's a yes. I'm asking."

They continued through the basic poses and some of the more advanced poses she had been working in. When she got to their  _new pose of the day_  he had to bite his tongue to not laugh at Antonin.

"Enjoying this one Tony?"

"Shut up Jacob."

"You know, you say that so often it's lost its meaning."

He went back to trying the  _scorpion_  pose as Hermione tried to instruct some of the less flexible in the class.

"Good try! Remember to breathe, if you don't breathe you tense up. Now, you want your forearms flat on the mat, don't rest your head... You could hurt yourself if you fall from this position and we don't want that! Time to work on getting your feet in the air, lift one leg then the other, slowly. We're doing a modified handstand not a back bend!"

She really was a good teacher, even if she was far too perky for a prison. She was walking around randomly correcting the poses and calling out the instructions in a calm tone that he could tell was a hard earned talent. It was times like these where he could see the girl that Tony talked about almost killing, she had obviously been through a lot more than either of them was telling him about.

"Okay good, I like these handstands. Now we're going to move on to the difficult part. Bend your knees and arch your back at the same time, very slowly. Maintain control or you'll fall over! Amazing! Now let's breathe in five, hold... and release! Now, back to our handstand. Good, very good. Now back to down dog. Hold for a little, we don't want to get hurt. Down to the child's pose. And we're all done for the day!"

Jacob stood up quickly and walked over to Hermione before Antonin could stop him.

"Hello Hermione."

"Hi Jacob. good weekend?"

"Dreadfully boring. Luke had a family wedding so no visit. You two would probably get along. Prison pen pals and all."

Hermione laughed "Yes I'm sure we would with our big bad drug dealers to talk about"

"Well of course you'd talk about your boyfriends." Her eyes went wide and he realized what he said. "I mean, fuck. Tony doesn't say you're his girlfriend. I just. Fuck. Please stop looking at me like that. Fuck, Tony is going to kill me."

Antonin took that moment to walk up.

"Why am I going to kill you Jacob? I thought I was out of that business a few years ago."

Hermione just looked at him and then looked down, still trying to formulate a response. Jacob was looking everywhere except Hermione and Antonin.

"Now Tony  _please_  remember you don't want to be stuck in prison forever. I, um,  _may have called you her boyfriend_." The last bit he mumbled very quickly.

Antonin looked at the ceiling letting out a long stream of what sounded suspiciously like death threats in Russian.


	11. The resolution

"I'm so sorry"

"It's... It's fine Jacob. I should get going though and you two are keeping the others waiting."

"Kotenok-"

"I'll see you Wednesday, bye"

She darted out of the room, still bright red... Tonight was going to require some fatherly advice and a good deal of wine.

Antonin and Jacob walked back to their cells with Antonin mumbling under his breath.

"I swear Tony I told her that you don't call her your girlfriend, right away."

"I don't think it helped."

"I know. I'm so sorry."

"Saying that isn't making it better."

"I know... but I am"

"I know."

"Do you think she'll forgive me?"

"You, definitely. Me... I don't know."

"Why would she hate you? You didn't say anything"

"Honestly, I've just been waiting for her to find a reason to run"

"Why though?"

"I've told you."

"Yeah, yeah.. too young, you almost killed her"

"She's too good to be here. She'll realize that one day."

"Or you'll realize pushing her away is stupid"

* * *

"KIIIIIIIINGS!" Hermione yelled out as she entered his flat. She needed to stop being confused by everything.

"Hermione? What in the name of Merlin are you doing here?"

"I was thinking it was about time for another breakdown. I figured it would be a good idea to start having them twice a week... catch up on the last 9 years worth of panic before I turn 21."

Kingsley laughed "Overachiever as always."

"Yup."

"Now, what's troubling you today?"

"Same thing as always lately. I swear, besides you, Harry and Dolohov I have no life"

"Well, I don't think I've confused you lately and Harry seems stable last I checked in... So Dolohov?"

"Yeah. You know the friend I told you about?"

"The one you described as tall and far too adorable for his own good?"

"Yes, him. I'm never living that down am I?"

"Probably not"

"Fine. Today we were talking and he made a joke about how I'd get along with his boyfriend and I said  _Yes I'm sure we would with our big bad drug dealers to talk about._  And he called Dolohov my boyfriend."

Kingsley chuckled "Sometimes I forget how young you are."

She started to pour tea for both of them "War does that."

"Something tells me you were old before the war."

Hermione hummed as she watched the tea darken.

"So, I'm going to ask you something and I need you to not overthink."

She snorted.

"Did it bother you more because it's not true... or because it's not true and you wish it  _was true_?"

* * *

Antonin looked at the clock, it was six in the morning "Jacob?"

"Yeah Tony?"

"It's Wednesday."

"I'm aware. It's also ridiculously early."

"Yoga today."

"Yup. Going to be fun."

"I don't want to go."

Jacob snorted "Mature Tony, real mature."

* * *

By the time their Wednesday Yoga class came around, Hermione had  _definitely_ over thought the question. She had determined that Kingsley was the devil within a few hours. She had gone through the whole class  _avoiding_  looking at or talking to Antonin and Jacob.

"Okay, see you all Friday!" Her voice was betraying her nerves for the first time all class. She walked over to them slowly.

"hi."

"kotenok?"

"Hi, beautiful."

"Dedushka, Jacob." She looked at the floor and took a deep breath. "Dolohov, I need to talk to Jacob for a second."

Jacob looked up at her surprised and they waited for Antonin to be far enough away for them to talk.

"I really am sorry."

"Don't be. It was just..."

"Weird?"

She laughed. "Yeah, weird. I mean you see him every day. Is... I mean..."

"You want to know if I slipped because he says it?"

"Yeah."

"Look at him now. He's miserable... but no. He doesn't say it. He keeps telling me you shouldn't be here."

She snorted "I do a lot of things I shouldn't"

"He goes on about how you're  _too young_  and how he almost killed you. Did he really?"

She rubbed her chest where the curse had hit. "I was in a hospital bed for almost a month. Took me a bit to wake up."

Jacob whistled "I just assumed he was exaggerating"

"Nope."

"He thinks you are going to hate him because of this."

She snorted "On the long,  _long_  list of shit I have to hate him for, this doesn't make top ten. Hell, it might not even be top twenty-five."

"I'm missing a big part of this story, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you kind of are."

"Fucking cults."

She snorted again "Yeah, fucking cults."

"One day you'll have to tell me because the old man tells me nothing."

"What makes you think I will?"

"Bribery."

She laughed.

"No really. I can give you all the best gossip. John up in the front row picked that spot because you look like his sister and it makes him miss her less. Caleb in the second row has bet Zack about if we'll ever see your knickers."

"I... I  _really_  didn't need to know that... That was the worst bribery ever"

"Ooooh then reverse bribery. You'll tell me everything to shut me up."

She laughed "Now  _that_  might be an effective technique..."

"Come on beautiful, let's go put the old man out of his misery."

"You just like pointing out he's old don't you?"

"Yup. He's like twice my age. And he grumbles when I say that. Anyways, you're one to talk... you call him Grandpa."

"He calls me  _kitten_."

* * *

"Hi, Dolohov."

"Kotenok?"

"You should probably say something else, Tony. She might think you've lost it"

"Be nice Jacob."

"That wouldn't be as much fun though."

"Then go away."

"Be nice dedushka"

Antonin just looked at her.

"We're good Dolohov."


	12. Reflections

They never exactly talked about  _what_  they were to each other, opting to just be happy that they were able to talk. Jacob had taken almost a month to stop apologizing to Hermione and six weeks to stop apologizing to Antonin. The next few months found them back in their old routines, Hermione going between annoying Kingsley, visiting Harry, teaching yoga and visiting Antonin. Jacob was counting down the days until he was released, he had hit just under six months. Antonin would have another three months after Jacob left and was hoping to keep the cell next to him empty.

Hermione was standing in the hallway before visitation one day when a guy walked up to her.

"Hermione?"

"Yes, who are you?"

"Luke. Jacob's boyfriend. He pointed you out last week but I had to rush out so I didn't get to say hi last week."

"OH! He seems sweet."

"He is, he says you're a pretty good teacher too."

She ducked her head "I hope so, it's what I'm working towards now."

"Really? What ages?"

"I want to do 11-18. There's a private school I'm hoping to be hired at that teaches only those years."

"Fun. My niece is almost that age. Maybe she'll get into the school."

She looked at him. "Maybe."

"What are you hoping to teach?"

"Biology," she said, using the closest muggle class she could think of.

He gave her a look she couldn't decipher "Oh, okay. Looks like they're about to bring us in."

* * *

Antonin looked up and smiled at her "Kotenok"

"Hi, Antonin."

"Anything new this week?"

"I met Jacob's boyfriend. Beyond that not much," she said, biting her lower lip

"Oh? And why is that worrying you?"

"Because he seemed  _off_. We were talking about my teaching and his reaction to a private school starting at age 11 didn't phase him. But when I said I would be teaching biology, he gave me a strange look."

"Ah."

"I know I'm paranoid."

"No, I wouldn't say that. It might make sense."

She rolled her eyes "You don't have to humor me."

"I'm not. But we can talk about something else. How's that new charm coming?"

She let out a bright smile "Great. I think I almost have the right movements down!"

"Did you test the reverse loop I suggested?"

"Yeah, I am just trying to get the end movement. I want to add a flick naturally but that ends up with an unpredictable aim"

"Hmmm. The loop can mess with control. You might need to balance it in the incantation or add a small movement before and have it end with the loop."

* * *

That night as they were sitting in their cells, Antonin was thinking over Hermione's worries. It was strange how easily Jacob accepted his lack of knowledge about things like cars, the tube, television, and even phones. It would make sense that Jacob and Luke might have some knowledge of the wizarding world and would therefore find

"Jacob, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Tony."

"What did you tell Luke about Hermione?"

"Oh. I pointed her out and said she was our Yoga instructor."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, I think so, why?"

"He talked to her today."

"Oh. Did he piss her off?"

"No. Just curious."

After a little bit of silence, Jacob spoke "Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"You're weird."

Antonin snorted,  _that_  was not new to him. "I've been told that my whole life mate"

Being a wizard, he always stuck out as a kid. He didn't live in a magical community until he was nine when they moved to England from Russia. Before that, he was the weird kid in his neighborhood. After that, he had a couple years of being  _normal_  in the Wiltshire area. Then he started to engross himself in the dark arts and became an outcast in the wizarding world as much as he had been in the muggle world.

It wasn't too hard to turn to the Dark Lord after that point. He never  _exactly_  hated muggles. He just liked being allowed to practice dark arts and creating his spells, which he was allowed to do within the ranks of the Death Eaters. Hell, they encouraged his darker nature and pushed him to become more and more ruthless. He was completely lost by the time he had been called to the Department of Mysteries that he joked around about cursing teenagers. She was half his age at that point.

It wasn't until he saw her pure fury at being in the same room as him that anything started to hit him. And it was still hitting him. So much of his past that used to make sense just  _didn't_  anymore.

* * *

Hermione knocked on Kingsley's door, a bottle of wine in her hand.

"Hello, little dove! Come on in."

"You probably should have made sure it was me, not someone else, first Kings."

"Please, we've had a standing Saturday family dinner for how long now? Plus if it was anyone else, they'd be knocking on the  _wards_ , not the  _door_."

"They still haven't figured a way through huh?"

"Nope. And I probably enjoy Jackson's anger far more amusing than I should."

"He is rather hysterical when he gets all worked up."

"I would love to tell him his warding skills are being beaten by a twenty-year-old, but I don't feel like sending him your direction."

"Not like he could get through my wards at my house either. Tease away. I look forward to the stories."

"You are devious, little dove."

"I know. It's why you love me. What's for dinner? It smells amazing."

"Citrus glazed salmon."

"Yummy. That is one of my favorites!"

Kingsley laughed. It was good to see her carefree for once. Since he first met this girl, she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She always talked about how Harry was finally getting the childhood he deserved. He was sure that she was also getting a bit of the childhood she never got thanks to taking on the role of sister to Ron and Harry.

He really wasn't sure if she realized the impact she had on people around her. She spent so much time caring about everyone around her that she didn't always take the time to let them care for her. When she had turned to him after everything went to hell, he was honored. He remembered the weeks he spent getting hexed to high hell for sending her into that room the first time- those moments seemed to cement them as a family. War time can bring out the worst of people, but for them, it brought out a dynamic that may not have happened otherwise.


	13. Harry and Luke

That Thursday, Hermione was walking into the Janus Thickey Ward. They had told her she really didn't need to visit twice a week, but she had waved them off. This was  _Harry_. Like she would ever abandon him.

"Hi Harry, how are you today?"

"MIONE! I drew you a picture!" He held out the paper to her. It was a drawing of her, Kings and Harry outside a house that Harry  _shouldn't_  remember. He didn't know about Grimmauld until he was almost 16.

"It's beautiful! Is that me?"

"Yup. Is our family, Mione."

"It's"

"It's our family, Mione."

"Yes, it is. Has Kings visited you lately?"

"Yeah. He was here two sleeps ago."

"Did you give him a pretty picture too?"

Harry rolled his eyes "Mione, I'm a  _boy_. Boys don't draw  _pretty._  They draw  _handsome_."

"Right, sorry."

"I drew him a cat and a hippogriff"

Hermione would have to get a look at that. Crookshanks and Buckbeak were always around each other in Grimmauld. If his memories were coming back, they would have to prepare.

"Did'ya bring me candy?"

She laughed, "Of course I did! Do you really think I would forget?"

As she was pulling the chocolate out of her bag, she asked, "Will you share with me?"

"Of course Mione. Big Boys Share!" he exclaimed as he puffed out his chest and smiled.

* * *

"Healer Jensen, can I have you save me all his drawings from now on?"

"We already do that, would you like to look?"

"Yes, please"

As she looked through the folder, she saw bits of his old life peeking through. Red heads, dragons, trolls, Hagrid, flying cars and giant spiders.

"He's remembering!"

"What do you mean?"

"These, these are his life."

The healer took the pictures back, really looking at them. There, in childish drawings were him catching a snitch, the Hogwarts express, a phoenix. "Ma'am any magical child would have heard of these as a child by his mental age."

"But that's just it. He might be  _magical_  but he was  _raised muggle._ "

"Oh. Well then, that changes his treatments a bit."

She wondered exactly how much farther they could have gotten in the past 15 months if this conversation had occurred earlier. "Okay, let me know if I need to sign anything else."

She stopped by Kingsley that night to inform him of the changes.

* * *

"Tony?"

"Yeah, Jacob?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do when I get out."

"I would suggest avoiding dealing drugs again."

"Yeah, but, that's all I've done since I was thirteen. Ten years of this."

"You have time to figure it out."

"Yeah. How about you? Just under a year left."

"Haven't even thought about it yet."

"You probably should. The cult thing isn't going to work after."

"No, it really won't."

"No one ever visits from your cult."

"No, they wouldn't."

"Why not?"

"They considered me a traitor when I got close to Hermione. Well, I guess I actually was a traitor in the end."

"How so?"

"I gave up their secrets. To her."

"You two have a  _ton_  of secrets you're keeping from me."

"Yeah, we really do."

"Are you ever going to share them?"

He thought it over. Hermione did seem to collect strays like him, so maybe Jacob was next. "We might, one day."

"Like the fucking cobra pose. Why does that mean something to you two?"

Antonin snorted. " _That_  I might never tell you just to annoy you."

"You're an arse."

"I've been called worse."

* * *

Hermione ran into Luke in the hall again that Saturday. It became a common occurrence. Every time Hermione and Luke were both visiting he would find a way to spark a conversation. Jacob wasn't lying, they really would be able to get along well, if Luke didn't seem off. She still couldn't place it, but there was something about him that seemed a bit  _too_  familiar with her lies. He never questioned things that he should have-  _who doesn't ask where you're getting your degree?_  She would try to put it out of her mind, but something was always there, nagging at her when she saw him. They would always smile and say bye as they headed in to talk to Antonin and Jacob. It was like this for almost half a year, when he changed something.

"Hey, Hermione... can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I want to celebrate Jacob getting out, a party. Would you like to come?"

"If I can."

"Um, would you be able to help? My family doesn't exactly  _approve_  of my choice of him."

She laughed. "I know that feeling, sure"

And there it was again. Sure, most families don't  _approve_  of inmates. But they way he said it just felt  _off_. Like why wouldn't any of his friends be able to help?

* * *

"Hi Antonin"

He looks shocked, but she doesn't notice what she just did. In the eight months she had him as a captive and in the past 20 months, she never called him that. It was always Dolohov or dedushka.

"Hi, kotenok."

"How goes the career planning?"

He snorts "Not well. Trying to fill out my experience isn't going well."

"I imagine not. Need any help?"

"No. It's not like I'll end up where they place me."

"True. The ministry already has plans for you."

"You've been meddling, haven't you kotenok?"

"Not  _meddling_  exactly. Kings did say he didn't have any plans and I just  _suggested_  something."

"Am I allowed to know?"

She smiled, "Nope."

"Great. How are your masteries going?"

"I'm one spell away from my charms mastery. I'm still working on a few things for transfig."

"Any ideas for the last spell?"

"No. I want to do  _something_  to help Harry, but he's just going to have to go at his own pace."

"Yeah. But from what you've said it's going well."

"Yeah, once we found out about that one oversight, they pulled Kings and me in for a full evaluation to give them more of a background... He's much  _less_  adorable right now. Third year all over again," she said as she rolled her eyes.


	14. Party Prep and A House

After a month of trying to plan the party only in the hallway at the jail, Hermione had given Luke her number so they could figure out a good way to set up the party. She figured the only way she would get past the weird feeling was to get to know him better. He had called her a few times and that first conversation was oddly familiar, though she couldn't place exactly  _why_ she had a sense of déjà vu.

"Hello?"

(fumbling noises and words she couldn't quite make out)

"Hello?" she said a little louder this time "I can't quite understand you."

"Um, Hello?" the response came, sounding a little like he was underwater.

"Still a bit hard to hear... can you move the phone?" She shouted.

There was more noise and then "Hello, Hermione?"

"Much better. Hi Luke"

"Sorry, new tele. So, um. I have no clue what I'm doing hosting a party."

She laughed "Have you never hosted one?"

"No."

"Okay. We'll start easy. When and where. Then we'll figure out who, and then food."

"Um. I was thinking my place. But it might be too small."

"Okay, well how many people do you think?"

"I don't know, probably ten will show up."

"Well, ten people isn't a lot, so why don't you shoot me a photo?"

"Sure." there was a pause. "um, how exactly do I do that?"

She had walked him through the process and then realized his idea of small was much different than hers. He called her multiple times each day worried about every strange detail. She felt like an event planner with a nightmare client, but since she had already promised to help she just kept smiling and helping. The party was only two weeks away when Luke finally admitted why he was so nervous. They had finally met up for tea and shopping, it was the first time she had seen him outside of the prison.

He spotted her as she walked up to the coffee shop, reading a book. He tried to wave her down, but when that failed he called out to her.

"Oh, hi. Sorry. I kind of get into my books. It's like I'm in another world sometimes."

"I know the feeling. Thank you so much for helping."

"I've said it before, you don't need to keep thanking me."

"I know. Um, I have a stop first before we go party shopping. I want to get your opinion on something."

"Sure."

They finished their tea and headed off. He led her to the front of a jewelry store. Hermione could tell it offered magical and muggle pieces and was wondering if the owner was magical.

"Ah, Welcome back Mister Marsh. One minute and I will grab your order."

He went into the back room and Hermione looked around at some of the magical items. When Luke saw him coming back, he called her over.

"So, I had this designed for him, do you think he'll like it?"

Hermione took the box from his hands. It was a ring. The metal part looked like a rough shaped rock, and there were diamonds throughout, in a jagged line.

"It, um, it's supposed to represent the strange path we took," he said as he pointed to the crooked line. "And the finish is how I see him like a diamond in the rough. Because it's rough. Like, like a rock where you can find diamonds. I mean it doesn't look exactly like a rock because that would be sharp and he would cut himself and I think getting blood off a realistic rock surface would be-"

"Luke, relax. It's perfect."

He let out a shaky breath. "I want to propose at the party. The party  _needs_  to be perfect." She smiled and assured him it would be okay.

* * *

Hermione walked up to Kings flat on the Friday before the party. They had agreed to meet a day earlier than normal because she would be unable to see him the next day since she would be calming Luke down all day.

"Little Dove! How have you been?"

"Good Kings. Harry is almost ready to come home, Luke's party for Jacob is tomorrow, and I think I finally found a house!"

"Oh really, and when am  _I_  going to be allowed to approve of this house?"

"I was hoping before we ate today?"

"Excellent, I need to make sure it's good enough for you."

They landed in front of the little two level cottage she had picked. It was a simple white with dark gray accents, roses blooming in the planters under the windows. She was wringing her hands looking over at Kingsley.

"Can we go in? I'd like to look around."

"Yeah, the agent should be here soon... Come look at the garden!"

It had a full vegetable garden on one side and potions ingredients on the other. He turned his back to the house and looked over the property. He could see her raising a family here. It had enough room for children to run about, that is, if she ever got around to ignoring the people who would look down on the relationship. He hadn't told her about his plans for the next day. He wasn't about to let her know he was planning on a fatherly visit to the man she was denying was her actual boyfriend. No, he would keep this secret from her until after. This was definitely another one of those times where asking forgiveness would be easier than asking permission.

When the agent arrived and let them in, he saw that the inside kept a warm feeling even being a large house.

"Okay, so obviously here's the living room and family room. That's the kitchen through there. The upstairs is where all the bedrooms are." She started to drag him down the hall pointing out various rooms. She had planned for a games room, lounge, theater... but she stopped and turned to the final door and had a huge smile on her face.

"This... is the library." When she opened the door, he saw that there was enough room for more books than anyone could read in a lifetime, except perhaps her. As she pointed out where she planned to put all the different types of books, she led him upstairs. She had claimed the first room would be the master suite, of course. There were enough rooms for a very large family and he smiled.

"So, what do you think?"

"It matters the most what you think little dove."

"Well, they say you should always bring your parents to the house so that you have someone less emotional to look it over. And, well, you're the closest I have to a parent... so I was hoping..."

He dragged her into a hug. "When we were out back I pictured you having picnics with your children, arguing with me about letting them fly. As we went through the rooms, I knew that this was the place for you."


	15. Luke's Last Name

"Mr Dolohov."

"Minister."

"I think you know why I am here."

"I could guess."

"Well, the first reason is I will be supervising your release. The second is the  _reason_  I am supervising your release."

"Hermione."

"Well, at least she picked a smart one."

He snorted. "If I was actually smart I wouldn't be in here."

"True, but we all make mistakes. You do think the whole  _kill the nonpure_  bit was a mistake, right?"

"Definitely. Have you talked with her about her charms? There's no way she wasn't meant for our world."

"I've tried, but that depth of theory isn't my thing. I'm more potions and arithmancy."

"Charms was my favourite before he took over my life. He had me creating curses and it wasn't as much fun as what she has been doing."

"So, I can trust you with her?"

"I want to say yes, but she deserves better."

"Yeah, but she has picked you."

They kept talking for the rest of the time allowed. He went over how they would handle the process of removing his pendant and getting him housing. They would meet when he was two months from release to go over all of the available jobs. They worked their way back to Hermione and talked about how she was handling the after effects of the war. Kingsley told Antonin about the house she had picked.

When visiting hours were over Kinsgley left, knowing that even though he didn't much like it, Antonin seemed to care. Even though neither of them could explain it, they seemed to be better with each other. There was no missing the way Antonin changed when talking about her.

What he hadn't told Antonin was he had  _volunteered_  to be the parole supervisor. Most of the other volunteers would have been unfair or had a fetish for bad boys.

* * *

Hermione walked up to the house Luke had directed her to. And just like everything with Luke, something felt  _off._  She double checked for her wand just as Luke and a familiar looking man came out of the house. Luke was almost running at her and the other man was slowly following behind, looking bored.

"MI! I am so glad you are here. It's almost time for the party."

She laughed "Luke, the party is still  _six_  hours away."

"Yes, but I have to leave to pick him up in  _three_  hours."

"You are entirely too nervous."

The other man was standing watching the exchange.

"Blaise, get  _over_  here and meet Jacob's Yoga instructor, Hermione-"

"Granger. So it is you."

"Blaise, as in Zabini?"

"The one and only love."

"You two know each other?"

"Yeah, went to school together."

"So you're a witch."

Blaise snorted. "Not just  _a_ witch Luke. That is the most famous muggleborn."

"I had thought the name was familiar, but you were visiting Dolohov."

"Yeah, long story there."

"And you went to Hogwarts?"

"Yeah, didn't  _finish,_ war and all..."

"Ask her what years Luke."

"What years?"

"Started in 91."

Blaise looked entirely too pleased with himself as Luke started to put the pieces together.

"So not Biology then?"

She laughed "No, charms and transfiguration."

Blaise took the small pause to ask about what he heard before, "You were  _visiting_  Dolohov? Granger... He tried to kill you."

"More than once."

"And that's how you met Luke?"

"Yup."

"Luke, did you ever tell her your last name?"

"No, I managed to avoid that you prat."

"What is it?"

Luke looked at Blaise before looking down and mumbling.

"I didn't catch that."

"Just, just promise me you'll still help."

She shot a look at a still  _far_ too pleased Blaise. "Luke, how bad can it be?"

Blaise laughed, "Oh, it can be  _really_  bad."

"It's Malfoy."

"You're fucking kidding me."

"No, Hermione meet Draco's older brother, Rigel Lucas Malfoy," Blaise said before laughing

"Please, please, please do not leave. Think of Jacob."

She was gripping her wand through her jeans, trying to figure out if she was in danger. But Luke's sagging shoulders and Blaise's gasping laughter seemed to tell her she was safe.

"Explain. Now."

"Well, you know how I told you my family doesn't approve?"

"Yes... I assumed it was the drug dealer thing."

"Uh, no... We met after my second year. I spent the summer with him- when Lucius found out he sent me to Durmstrang. Apparently, he didn't approve of his heir making friends with a muggle."

"Uh huh."

"And well, I was a rebellious 13-year-old. I tricked one of the older boys into making me a charmed box that would find any letter written to me, even from muggle post. Then I would just have my owl drop his letters through the slot and leave."

"Clever."

"Yeah, then after I graduated, Lucius gave me two choices: Leave Jacob or leave the manor. By then I was in love, Jacob was it for me. It was an easy choice."

"So you didn't even know about the war?"

"Not really... I didn't catch up with Blaise until I was temporarily put in charge of Malfoy Apothecaries when Draco was locked up. He's been helping me run it. I've been living muggle since 95. So, will you still help?"

"I won't hold your family against you, as long as you don't hold mine against me."

"Deal. So you are  _the_  Granger my brother went on about?"

"Yeah, that's her alright. And it  _never_  occurred to you before?"

"Well, it's a common last name. And she  _visits Antonin_."

"Yeah Granger, you'll have to explain that to me one day. Let's go get this set up though."

"I've tried to explain it to Kings. He doesn't get it, I'm still not too terribly sure I do."

Luke wrapped his arm around Hermione and they walked into the house to prepare for the party.


	16. A small chat

As it turned out, Luke probably would have been right about needing hours to decorate if they didn't have magic. Luckily, it only took about half an hour to decorate the ballroom. His nerves were showing, so it was distraction time. They had headed outside after the setup and were sitting on the small porch when Blaise broke the silence.

"So, Granger, time to talk."

"Do I have to?"

"The last  _good_  memory of my family was the summer before I graduated- my little brother's friends came over for the annual trip after their letters arrived told me he got punched by a tiny little fluffball of a muggleborn."

"Fluffball? Really Zabini?"

"That was not me. That was Theodore. I just laughed."

"So I wonder how you go from  _that_  to dating one of the more frightening of my Dad's associates in the years I was in the muggle world."

"Yeah, that's a  _lot_  of change in six years."

"I know. Believe me, I get why it's confusing."

"So?"

"Well, it started when the Order captured him. I was  _in charge_  of his... I guess they considered it interrogation."

"They had  _you_  interrogating?"

"Yes, no... it's hard to explain."

She was sitting and looking at her hands and trying to figure out the best way to explain.

"You see, most of the Order had different skills. Remus, Sirius and Bill got teamed up a lot for the interrogations you're thinking of. The ones that involved blood."

"Yeah, I got to see the results of a few of those when I was at Drake's house."

She nodded. He probably hadn't seen the worst ones- but war is war and even the good guys do some very messed up shit.

"I was normally at headquarters for the planning. They kept me out of the thick of it as much as they could. Same with Harry and Ron. Then one day, after  _I_ had the pleasure of visiting Malfoy Manor."

"Pleasure?"

"Sarcasm Zabini, obviously. But about a week after I recovered from that... Kings gave me a  _special_  assignment."

"So being tortured got you rewarded."

She snorted. "Yeah, well. They knew the current prisoner wouldn't respond to the growling threats of Sirius, Remus and Bill. Apparently, he had called Sirius a fluffy puppy when he transformed."

"Transformed? Was he a werewolf too? I thought you only had Lupin."

"Technically you're right... Remus was the only full werewolf. Bill just had a bit of the strength and the meat thing. Sirius was an animagus."

She was crying now, the thought of all the order members who died was still hard to cope with, even almost two years later.

"He was a giant black dog. Almost a metre tall when he was sitting."

"And that's a fluffy puppy?"

"Apparently compared to Greyback it is."

Blaise and Luke both shuddered.

"Yeah, so they decided on a different approach. Threats didn't work, kindness might."

"Did they... no... they couldn't have had you do  _that._ "

Hermione looked puzzled for a minute while processing what Blaise could mean.

"I doubt the good guys offered a shag for information," Luke responded, making Hermione blush.

"No, definitely not. I was just supposed to be there. Always there, only me."

"How is that interrogation?"

"Ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? Feelings of trust or affection felt in certain cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor."

Luke nodded and Blaise shook his head.

"Well, it's basically when someone is kidnapped and they start to trust and/or love their captor. In this case, I was playing the role of the captor."

"Shit."

"Yeah, only they forgot a very important bit. I was just as isolated with him as he was with me. I mean, I got out more than he did, but it was usually a quick mission and then back to headquarters so he didn't miss a meal."

"So you had to be nice to him and then he revealed his secrets?"

"No, I really wasn't even that nice. I don't think I said three words to him for half of his time there."

"What changed?"

"I don't know. One day he just started confessing. Not apologizing. Just letting me know all the times he had hurt me, in battles and stuff. Apparently, after the first time, I didn't die it became a goal for him."

"And you got attached."

"He didn't judge, still doesn't. I came in right after a mission once. We lost Luna and I was covered in blood from trying to save her. I was running really late and wanted to get the food in before he fell asleep. He started swearing in Russian and checking me over for injuries. I don't think he knew I could understand him when he started to threaten whoever hurt me."

"You speak Russian too?"

"Not really, I understand and know a few words. But that was when I started to decompress at him. I wouldn't tell him details, not really. Just how everything was utter shit. When we lost people. Things that wouldn't matter if he escaped."

Luke put a hand on her knee and she took it gladly.

"When he got transferred to the muggle jail... I missed that. There was no one who could just... They tried but there was always a bit of judgement and so much pain for everyone to deal with themselves. Harry was still in a coma, Ron was dead... So I turned to Dolohov. I don't know why I even visited that first time. Or the second. Suddenly it was a habit but it was helping as much as therapy."

"Therapy?"

"Muggle thing. Anyway. Let's move on to something less depressing. Are you ready to propose?"

"Not even remotely."

"What are you nervous about? I know he already agreed to move in."

"He  _had_  to agree. He needed a place that  _wasn't_ near his old place."

"Oh please. He's absolutely nuts about you."

"Yeah mate, you'll get a yes. You wanna practice on us?"

Luke let out a huge smile and dragged them both into a hug, Hermione seemed much more at ease with it than Blaise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops. just noticed I hadn't added this one... so two in one day for you!


	17. The big reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added two chapters at once. PLEASE make sure you read the last one.

Antonin smiled as Jacob passed his cell for the last time. The kid had promise, if he followed through on the plans he had made. He knew Hermione would probably keep in touch with the boy as well since she was going to the party that Luke guy was throwing.

Luke... Now he was a mystery. Something about him seemed so familiar, but he just couldn't place it. The time he spent in Azkaban and serving the less than sane Dark Lord had dulled his mind. He wasn't sure which was worse- at least in this prison his magic wasn't slowly driving him to the brink of insanity before hurtling him off.

Hermione had also been helping. It was amazing what a little bit of academic conversation could do to stimulate the brain. Azkaban was full of screams and that mad woman's laughter. Then, most of the time serving the Dark Lord was spent with the pyromaniac who rarely was up for discussion.

And now, he was three months from release with his mind almost as sharp as it was right after graduation. He was probably in the best place he had been in all of his 38 years. He imagined that once he could dive back into the magical texts he'd be able to follow Hermione's plans for him. He thought back to the Minister describing the plan he would be expected to follow, one that sounded eerily similar to a conversation he had with Hermione.

_"So, we have decided that the best way to incorporate you back into society is to get a charms job for you, would that work?"_

_"Yes, as I said, it was my passion before."_

_"Okay, so we can't look at available positions just yet as they will change too much over the next month. We will make sure you are with a competent master."_

_"I can't imagine any of those will work with me."_

_"You do realize that my word will fix that, right?"_

He didn't know what twist of fate ended with that girl on his side, but he had no plans to let her slip from his grasp any time soon. He was hers, for as long as she allows that to be the case.

* * *

When Luke and Jacob got out of the car, Hermione and Blaise were waiting on the porch.

"You got my yoga instructor here?"

"Yup. Wasn't easy, my younger brother was a right prick to her in school apparently."

"Really now?"

Luke was saved from answering with Hermione tossing her arms around Jacob, congratulating him on his release.

He continued the distraction from the topic of his little brother by saying, "Welcome home Jacob!"

"Home?"

"Well, part of your release required a house. So... This is ours... if you want me here. If not-"

"Of course I do you prat. We've been together for  _how long_?"

Luke looked relieved, part one of his proposal plan went well. Hermione looped her arm with Jacob and headed into the house. It was her job to distract him while they walked to the ballroom where everyone was waiting for the guest of honour. When they got to the room he didn't even notice the decorations or other people until they all started clapping.

By the time Jacob recovered from the shock, Luke was on one knee in the middle of the room, looking every bit as nervous as he was feeling. Hermione guided Jacob over and then stood back.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"So, I've known for six years that you were who I wanted to spend forever with. I gave up everything and haven't regretted it for one minute. When I met you eleven years ago I never imagined that we would get here."

Jacob laughed, "At the time if I recall, you were convinced you were going to marry my cousin Sarah."

Luke blushed, "Yes, I remember that. But it turns out you held my heart. So... will you marry me or do I have to hunt down Sarah?"

"Of course I will."

Everyone started clapping again, part two of the proposal was a success. All that was left was the third part, though that was the most troublesome- telling Luke he was a wizard. If it failed, Blaise and Hermione would have to call in the obliviators.

But that was a worry for  _after_ the party. For now, he would parade Jacob around showing off the ring and drinking enough to work up the courage to tell him.

* * *

"So, what is this thing you have to tell me that has been bugging you all night?"

"Well, it's a big deal and I'll understand if you break it off after this."

"I've known you almost half of my life, Luke... I doubt I'll be running away now."

Hermione and Blaise exchanged a look. Luke was wiping his hands off on his pants before grabbing his wand.

"I'm a wizard."

Unsurprisingly, Jacob laughed, "LARPing, oh love... I can deal with that. You've always been a bit of a geek!"

"No, really, I'm a wizard."

"What?"

"The  _cult_  you thought I was in... It's... well I think it's easier to show you."

He took out his wand and started to shrink and pull down all the decorations.

"I didn't know much about modern culture because I grew up with magic."

Jacob looked at Blaise and Hermione, both had looks on their faces that were stuck somewhere between worried and hopeful.

"You two knew. Hermione, you  _knew_  and didn't tell me?"

"I'm not allowed to... legally."

"But then how do you... You're one too aren't you?"

She pulled out her wand and put on a sad smile, "We both are."

"And Antonin..."

"Yes."

He started to pace while the other three watched, waiting for a reaction.

"Anything else you're hiding?"

"No. Just this."

"And you just let me think it was a cult?"

"I didn't know what that was at first, but it made you accept that fact that I didn't know much about muggles... so I went with it."

"Muggles?"

"People without magic."

"And you couldn't tell me sooner?"

"No," Luke said, looking at the ground.

"I'm going to need more information. A  _lot_  more information."

"So, you're not leaving?"

"No. Not yet at least. I would be a hypocrite."

"Well, that's better than I expected."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, I have a Tumblr and a Pinterest. (And I'm easy to catch on Tumblr for any questions)


	18. Questions and a release

Over the next few weeks, Jacob had fun grilling the Luke, Blaise and Hermione about magic.

.oOo.

"So, like... you can turn my dog into a mug?"

"We could, but why would you want to?"

.oOo.

"So say I wanted blue hair..."

Blaise pointed his wand at Jacob and said  _Colovaria._

.oOo.

"Okay, but, like... dragons... they aren't actually real are they?"

"They are, I've ridden one before."

"Granger, I'm going to need that story."

.oOo.

"Do you always need to say a spell?"

"No, for simple tasks you can cast nonverbally. The harder the task, the more practice and power you need to successfully do it. For some curses, it can mean the difference between life and death."

"You would know that personally Granger."

"Yes, Blaise, I would," she said rubbing her collar bone.

.oOo.

"What does it feel like?"

"For me, it's like a warm summer breeze floating around me and rushing off."

"Water... Like stepping into a perfect shower."

"That first sip of cold water on a hot summer's day."

.oOo.

"Who is the most powerful of you three?"

"Granger."

"Hermione."

"I've never duelled Luke, but I can beat Blaise."

.oOo.

"Can I watch you duel?"

"Jacob... are you  _really_  asking a war heroine to duel the son of a Death Eater?"

"What's a Death Eater?"

"Fuck. I am not sober enough for this. Luke, Hermione... want to help?"

"Think Nazi."

"Oh," Jacob looked down, worried he insulted everyone.

"One day you can watch. Maybe when Antonin gets out."

"You'd duel him?"

"I have before. Or maybe I can drag Kings here... but I trust their healing the most."

"Kings?"

"Kingsley Shacklebolt."

"Only  _you_  would volunteer the minister of fucking magic for a duel."

She shrugged, "He trained most of us. Mad-Eye would observe and critique, Kings would battle."

Blaise shook his head and walked away.

.oOo.

"So you can fly?"

"On brooms."

.oOo.

Jacob was inspecting the glass Hermione had just repaired.

"So wait, if I drop it again it will break, right?"

"Yes. It's still glass."

"No, I mean like... when you glue something back together, it can break on those cracks easier."

"Oh, then no. It's back to normal."

.oOo.

"So if you stranded on a desert island with just your wand, could you survive?"

"Yes."

"Maybe."

"No."

.oOo.

"Can you redo things?"

"If you have a time turner... I think there aren't any left though."

.oOo.

"So when you go get Tony, are you going to fly?"

"Well, no, but we'll use magic. We're not going to drive. That would take far too long to get there. We'll apparate."

"One, where is  _there_. and two you'll do what?"

"He's moving into the guest house on her property. And it's... well..."

Hermione laughed, Blaise had trouble explaining some things because he lacked the muggle comparisons that Hermione grew up knowing and Luke had learned.

"Teleportation."

"Ah."

* * *

The day had finally arrived. Antonin was currently going through the process of release. They had handed him back the clothes he came in wearing, which he now knew were jeans and his familiar black Oxford shirt. He was smoothing over the sleeves and waiting for them to come get him from the holding room.

"Dolohov. They're here to pick you up."

He walked out of the room and saw Kingsley and Hermione waiting to escort him to the home they had set up for him. Hermione had the brightest smile he had ever seen on her as Kingsley signed the final forms and walked out the door without so much as a hello. It was suddenly  _very_  obvious why he was chosen as the minister- no one would have the nerve to question his orders in an emergency.

He was lead to a familiar room, the one he was ushered through on his way to prison. Hermione was talking about her newest spell, her hands flying all over as if he was able to see the whiteboards she had mapped the theory on. He was more than happy to watch her brain work. He wondered if anyone else ever noticed the way her eyes lit up when she started talking about her work.

He hoped not.

When they reached the small apparation building, there was a woman flanked by two Aurors doing their best to look imposing, though they were failing. To be fair to them, next to Kingsley it was almost impossible to reach any level of intimidation. The woman stepped forward and pointed a wand at Antonin.

Hermione was apparently still a fast draw.

"Mione."

"What?" she asked, wand still trained at the woman while she looked at Kingsley with the sweetest innocent look he'd ever seen her muster.

"You can't just-"

"I'm just ensuring proper procedure Minister. I would  _hate_  if all the plans got spoiled over a little technicality."

Antonin hid his smirk, apparently, you  _could_  look intimidating next to the Minister. You just had to be a tiny little ball of energy with a rather Slytherin attitude and a good bit of sarcasm.

He took a deep breath and his hand twitched. Hermione spotted it and her smile only grew, arm still trained on the woman.

"Fine Mione. You know the protocol, Silvia. Follow it or I can't promise Miss Granger won't get protective."

"Minister!"

"No, she's right."

The woman glared at a very smug Hermione.

"Antonin Dolohov. I will now remove the charms on your regulatory pendant and remove it from your person. You will then be given a wand and walked through some test spells to ensure your magic isn't going to flare. You will be given recovery directions when you return to your chosen residence. It is important to not overtax your magic."

She finally flicked her eyes over to Antonin, "Is that clear?"

"As mud Miss-"

She ignored the implied question and flicked her wand at his chest, occasionally shooting a glance at Hermione and her wand.

"Oh don't worry  _darling Silvia_  I don't draw my wand unless necessary. I find it  _rude_."

Merlin, but the girl had an attitude when she wanted to.

It took about an hour to test his magic and health, the whole time Hermione didn't put her wand away. He noticed neither of the Aurors seemed eager to challenge her either. Soon the three guests signed some forms and handed them to the minister and popped out.

He did not see the girl throw herself at him.

He definitely did not expect to end up sitting on the table with her pressed against him, her lips on his.

His eyes went wide and he froze.

He couldn't think anything other than  _react, you bloody fool._

But his body wasn't cooperating.

Well, part of him was.

She shifted closer and he finally wrapped his arms around her, letting his eyes close while he kissed her back.

This time he didn't need the pendant to feel the brush of her magic against his, and her shiver in response told him that she could feel the Russian winter as it gently expanded for the first time in two years, overtaking the space before wrapping firmly around them.

A cough from the corner of the room brought them out of their own little world.

"Sorry Kings."

He nodded and continued to look pointedly at the wall, allowing Antonin to hide his initial reaction to having a beautiful witch throw herself into his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Writer's Nook for helping me come up with some of the fun questions


End file.
